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itapos;s actually really well done (after i had the storyline explained to me, of course). And nerd JoBros are almost more attractive than their cool selves.� *GASP* i canapos;t believe i just said that either. Iapos;m a sucker for dorky looking guys.



------------------

about today? netball was awesome, i so wish i was a curry boy. They seem to have all the fun. But donapos;t fret, i have a three-step fool-proof plan to become one of them.

1) learn to speak Tamil
2) get a Sri Lanka Dilmar cricket jersey
3) turn black.


yea, not sure how the last one is going to work, but one day....



oh, and since 8am sunday morning (thatapos;s almost 39 hours) iapos;ve had ONE HOURapos;s worth of sleep. So iapos;m in a really bad mood. I think i yelled at a few people tonight that i didnapos;t mean to, but if its any consolation, iapos;m sorry. Iapos;m just cranky.



got my shifts today. Only 3 hours on friday (YAYAYAYAYYA) but i have a monster shift on saturday. 10.30 till 6.30. Fun---. But that just means 4 parties, so itapos;s okay. Hopefully. I did just jinx myself there. :( *sad face*



off to not sleep.

goodnight.

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We live because we have purpose. Nothing is ever created without a purpose, even if it was... By "accident."


We stress ourselves over the smallest things. We take a look at ourselves and give ourselves bad news. In fact, when we turn on the TV, all we ever HEAR is bad news. Iapos;d rather hear GOOD�news for a change Iapos;d like to hear that our struggling neighbor with that incurable chronic disease has his life together and that him and his family are able to live our their lives. Iapos;d like to hear that my friends are accomplishing all that they set out to do. Iapos;d like to hear that one day, I am able to become what Iapos;d like to become.

Myself.

And the thing is... We all have that opportunity.

Iapos;ve been stressed... Since I�took on some of the responsibilities of my boss. As much as Leanne is my sister, she is also my boss. She says that Iapos;ve done more than enough for the business. Like help her furniture shop like I wanted to. I�made a list to get her started, and found items that she would have never seen without me. I also bought her the computer program - Ikosoft. It has everything. It sends out automatic e-mails to your clients/guests, when you scroll your mouse overtop of a client, you can see their picture (so you recognize them right away), etc. This program is amazing, and worth over $1000. So I bought it for her. This is my gift to her for being so good to me... For allowing me this opportunity to work with the National SkinCare Trainer in Canada. I donapos;t know why, but Leanne is also very close to me. I donapos;t want to lose the relationship that I�have with her, because sheapos;s my sister.

But somehow, in my quest to help her... Iapos;ve gotten too involved with it. Iapos;ve allowed myself to get stressed out over this.

�

When all I should be doing is fine tuning my skills. Studying the products. Networking. All these things I�have been doing.

And in all the drama... In all the stupid drama... Where my previous boss kicked me out because he thought I�was stealing clients... In hoping, and longing for someone to share a deep connection with... In getting to know many different people...

Somehow, I�lost myself. I�lost the realization that I�have the opportunity to change. And in expecting myself to get results, while dealing with everything else. And then BLAMING myself when I didnapos;t get the results I wanted... When I wasnapos;t even DOING�anything about it, because I was dealing with the other stuff. The drama. So what did I�do?

I got frustrated with myself and started beating myself up. And in the midst of the stress... I stress-ate�

Leading to more frustration, etc etc.

But now Iapos;ve learned to take a step back. Iapos;ve learned to be thankful for where I am and what I have. And as much as Iapos;ve had some drama in my life... Iapos;ve had a good life. Iapos;m glad that I�never got involved with all the drama in high school. Iapos;m glad that my parents still let me live with them for the time being. Iapos;m glad that I have people who love me. What more could I�ask for?�

-To achieve my dreams.
-To change myself for the better.
-To find a guy who I can have that deep connection with. I call him "Sasuke." =P And have that... Forever.
-To continue building good relationships.
-To save people... To open their minds to new and excellent opportunities that will benefit them. Because they are my friends. My brothers. My sisters. My family. They deserve the best. I�have a lot of love to share. And if I�think something will benefit someone, I�make sure they damn well know about it.
-To change the world.

All of these are opportunities. And there will be more, when I�see them. But these are my opportunities... And goals and dreams.

But not just my opportunities.

They are yours too.

Anyways, I have to go to sleep now... Big day tomorrow. Makeup seminar (yes... I have to learn how to put on makeup) and then a fashion event at a restaurant where Iapos;ll have the chance to network.

Gapos;nite

�

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I hate when you say bye.

Somehow talking on the phone is meant to make you feel better and happy and somehow relaxed maybe.. Turns out I just get angry when you leave, not angry angry, but frustrated about 7 midterms and parents who care.

Yesterday was pretty funny, I went to see Thomas while he was lining a soccer game, and it turns out it was Dannys soccer game... No eye contact was made for more then a spilt second cause for some reason he canapos;t look me in the eye. I assume Thomas is umm very frightening, and the fact that you stand over a foot taller then him scares you right? Ha, I laugh how all your team smiles and talks to me while you sit on the bench by yourself.� I hate to be mean, but it feels good to be noticed every so often.

You had 35 minutes of glory that somehow got shattered into pieces right infront of you. And still. I smile because I am happy.

I have to go now. ( that is the answer)

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Harvest Festival - Sunday, October 19th, 11 am - 4 pm

Farmstands,
Pony rides, petting zoo, face painting, music... It's big fun with OSH,
The Park Slope Farmer's Market, the Park Slope Civic Council and Park
Slope Parents outdoors in JJ Byrne Park, 3rd Street and 5th Avenue,
Brooklyn,

The Where and When
Sunday, October 19, 11 am 0 4 pm
Harvest Festival
in JJ Byrne Park
3rd Street and Fifth Avenue

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Last night i was feeling celebratory, so i cooked one of the steaks i had bought a while back. I forgot how huge they were, but cooked it anyways, along with scalloped potatoes. And proceeded to eat. And then eat. And when i was done, the meal i had thought would provide enough food for two was gone, and while i was feeling full, i still wanted to eat. So i polished off a bag of doritos, a granola bar, and a sorbet bar. And i could have kept going, but i felt like my consumption at that point had been heinous to the extreme.

what is going on this week??

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You know, it just hit me, there are certain phrases I always use to respond to fic comments:

1. Thank you for reading, and
2. Iapos;m so sorry.

My fingers just automatically want to type those two phrases in, again and again, and when Iapos;ve written something that *hasnapos;t* broken hearts, my fingers are all confused.

And also? I overuse the word apos;lovelyapos; to compliment fic, but there really isnapos;t a good substitute, is there? *donations gladly accepted*

... Has sinking feeling that her comments could be generated by a program and no one would be the wiser....

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